Þe Kings and Cƿeens of England

The text here was adapted from a document called Kings and Queens of England & Britain by Ben Johnson, The Story of Britain by Rebecca Fraser, and from Wikipedia.

I have chosen to count the first kings named Edward in the numbering scheme, so in this text Edward Longshanks is numbered as Edward the Third rather than Edward the First.

Beware, this article: uses spellings which have had foreign influence reverted; uses ⟨þ⟩ instead of ⟨th⟩ simply because I like ⟨þ⟩.

Huse Wessex (before oning)
Cerdic 519 – 534

It is said þat Cerdic and his sun Cynric came from uteside of Britten, landed in Hampscire in 495, slew a Brittisc king named Natanleod, and made þe Kingdom of Wessex. It is odd, huefer, þat Cerdic and þe next few men in his bloodline seem to bear Brittisc names. Sum beleefe Cerdic was in trewþ a Brit, and þat his kingdom only became Englisc ofer time, wiþ later folk edwriting stear to make it seem as þough þe kingdom was Englisc from þe start.

Cynric 534 – 560

Under Cynric, Wessex widened into Wiltscire and took Barbery Castel.

Ceawlin 560 – 592

Ceawlin kept on widening Wessex, fighting Brits as well as fellow Engelkin. Bede says Ceawlin gained lordscip ofer all þe lands suþe of þe Humber. It is said þat his neefe took his þrone after winning þe Guþe of Wooden's Barrow.

Ceolric 592 – 597

Ceolric was þe sunsun of Cynric. He handed þe þrone ofer to his broþer Ceolwulf.

Ceolwulf 597 – 611

Ceolwulf fought neighboring folk.

Cynegils 611 – 642

Cynegils may haf fought against Penda of Merkric.

Cenwalh 642 – 674

Cenwalh was baptised by Birinus, but it seems he was not a good Cristen. It is said he wed Penda's daughter, but swapped her ute for anoþer wife, leading to him being drifen ute of his kingdom and taking scelter wiþ þe East Engels. He seems to haf cum back to his þrone and set up biscopricks.

Seaxburg 672 – 674

Seaxburg was þe wife of Cenwalh. It may be þat þrughute her weeld Wessex was splintered into underkingdoms.

Æscwine 674 – 676

Wessex may haf still been splintered þrughute his time on þe þrone. He fought off a storming of Wessex by Wulfhere of Merkric.

Centwine 676 – 686

Wessex may haf still been splintered þrughute his time on þe þrone. It is said he drofe þe Brits to þe sea, and at sum time became a Cristen, and later gaf up his þrone to becum a munk.

Cædwalla 685 – 688

Cædwalla was fleemed from Wessex as a yewþ, but he is said to haf brought sum of his men wiþ him and slew þe king of þe Suþe Saxes, but could not hold þe land for himself. He eftcame home, took þe þrone, and bund þe kingdom back togeþer. Cædwalla widened his weeld; he wharfed back to Sussex and took þe land; he went suþe, took þe Iland of Wite, wiped ute þe huse of its king, and made þe landfolk becum Cristens; he went east and put Kent under his lordscip. At þe end of his life, Cædwalla went to Room to be baptised by Pope Sergius I, and died scortly after.

Ine 688 – 726

Ine could not hold onto all þe land Cædwalla had nome, þough he kept Hampscire. Ine put forþ a set of laws called in Latin "leges Inae". Later in life he gafe up þe þrone and went to Room.

Æþelheard 726 – 740

Æþelheard may haf been þe broþer-in-law of Ine. It may be þat Æþelheard took þe þrone wiþ Merkisc backing, and þiss may haf put Wessex under Merkrics lordscip.

Cuþræd 740 – 756

Cuþræd may haf been Æþelheard's broþer. At þiss time Merkric was at its hite. Cuþræd freed Wessex from Merkricces oferlordscip at Guþe Edge in Burford.

Sigeberht 756 – 757

Sigeberht was kin of Cuþræd. He was unliked and was þrown off þe þrone. He was gifen weeld ofer Hampscire, but before long he was drifen ute of þere and killed.

Cynewulf 757 – 786

Cynewulf was raised to þe þrone by þe Wittenmoot after Sigeberht was cast dune. He fought þe Welsc, and þe Merkmen to þe norþ. It is said þat while Cynewulf was away from his seat and wiþ only a small duþe, Cyneheard aþeling, þe broþer of Sigeberht, gaþered sum men and beset Cynewulf at his hold. Cynewulf went ute to fight, but was ofercum. When sum of Cynewulf's þanes became aware þat sumþing was amiss þey rusced to þeir king only to find him dead. Cyneheard bade þese þanes ricces if þey would yeeld, but þe þanes ceose to fight for þeir king and were also slain. Þe next morning when þe oþer þanes, þose who had not heard yesterday's din, learned of þeir king's deaþ, þey rode to where Cyneheard was abiding. Again Cyneheard bade ricces, saying he would gif boþ wealþ and land to þese þanes if þey would follow him, but again he was spurned. Þe þanes told him þey would nefer follow þe one who slew þeir king. Þe þanes fought until þey broke þrugh þe gates of Cyneheard's hold, and þey slew þe aþeling and his men.

Berhtric 786 – 802

Berhtric was king when þe earliest known Wiking raid happened at Dorset. He was a þoft of King Offa of Merkric.

Ecgberht 802 – 839

Ecgberht was þe sun of Berhtric, and þe first king to set up a steady and wide weeld ofer all of England. After cumming back from fleemedom at þe yard of Carl þe Great in 802, he took back his kingdom of Wessex. Following his nimming of Merkric in 827, he held weeld ofer all of England suþe of þe Humber. After furþer syes in Norþumberland and norþern Wales he became known by þe titel Britenweelder. scortly before he died, almost sefenty years old, he felled a fayed host of Dens and Corniscmen in Cornwall.

Æþelwulf 839 – 856

Æþelwulf was þe sun of Ecgberht. In 851 he felled a Danisc here at þe guþe of Oakley while his eldest sun Æþelstan felled þe Dens at sea off þe score of Kent. A hiely trowful man, Æþelwulf fared to Room wiþ his sun Ælfræd to see þe Pope in 855.

Æþelbald 856 – 860

Æþelbald was þe eldest sun of Æþelwulf. He was þroned after he came back from a pilgrimage to Room and made his faþer step dune. Following his faþer’s deaþ in 858, he wed his widowed stepmoþer Judiþ, but under þresting from þe circ þe wedlock was fordone after only a year.

Æþelberht 860 – 866

Æþelberht was þe broþer of Æþelbald. Shortly after being þroned, a Danisc here landed and sacked Wincester before being felled by þe Saxes. In 865 þe wiking Great Heaþen Here landed in East Engelric and swept þwart England.

Æþelræd 866 – 871

Æþelræd was þe broþer of Æþelberht. His time on þe þrone was a long struggel wiþ þe Dens who had numb York in 866, setting up þe wiking kingdom of York. When þe Danisc here fared suþe, Wessex itself was þreatened, and so togeþer wiþ his broþer Ælfræd he set ute and fought muc wiþ þe wikings at Reading, Ascdune and Basing. Æþelræd took earnest wunds bin þe next great guþe at Meretun in Hampscire and died scortly after.

Ælfræd þe Great 871 – 899

Ælfræd was þe broþer of Æþelræd, he was learned and is said to haf gone to Room twise. Ælfræd scowed himself to be a strong leader in many guþes, and as a wise leader held dune fife droof years of friþ wiþ þe Dens before þey again struck Wessex in 877. Ælfræd was made to fall back to a small iland in þe Summerset Wetlands, and it was from here þat he plotted his cumback (and where tales say he was cided by an old woman he was taking scelter wiþ for unwittingly letting her cakes burn). Wiþ great syes at Edington, Rocester and London, Ælfræd spread West Saxisc weeld ofer most of England. To fasten his hard won meres, Ælfræd set up a fulltime here and what would becum þe Kingfleet of later years. To fasten his stead in stear, he called for þe writing of þe Engelkin Saw.

Eadweard þe Elder 899 – 924

Eadweard was þe sun of Ælfræd. He took back suþeeast England and þe Midlands from þe Dens. Following þe þe deaþ of his sister Æþelflæd of Merkric, Eadweard fayed þe kingdoms of Wessex and Merkric. In 923, þe Engelkin Saw says þat þe Skottisc King Constantine II acknowledged Eadweard as “faþer and lord”. Þe following year, Eadweard was killed in a guþe against þe Welsc near Chester.

Huse Wessex
Aþelstan 924 – 939

Aþelstan was þe sun of Eadweard. He widened þe meres of his kingdom at þe Guþe of Brunanburh in 937. In what is said to be one of þe bloodiest guþes efer fought on Brittisc ground, Aþelstan felled a fayed here of Welsc and Dens, taking for himself þe ekename Britenweelder. Þe guþe saw þe Engelkin folk brought togeþer for þe first time under a trew and whole Kingdom of England. For þiss, Aþelstan is known as þe first king of England.

Edmund 939 – 946

Edmund was þe halfboþer of Aþelstan, and had fought alongside him at þe Guþe of Brunanburh two years earlier. He again set up Engelkin weeld ofer norþern England, whic had fallen back under Norþman weeld following þe deaþ of his broþer. At fife-and-twenty, and while afeeing þe simbel of Augustine, it is said Edmund was stabbed to deaþ by a þeef in his hall at Puckelcirc.

Edred 946 – 955

Edred was þe broþer of Edmund. He followed in his hird's wone of slaying wikings, and in 954 þrew ute þe last wiking King of York, Eric Bloodax. Edred lifed wiþ an earnest belly sickness þat ended up killing him in his early þirties. He was unwed and wiþute an erfnimmer.

Edwy 955 – 959

Edwy was þe neefe of Edred, and was abute sixteen when he was þroned. Tales haf it þat his þroning had to be stalled so þat Biscop Dunstan could rip Edwy from his bed, and from his whore and her moþer. It is said þat for þiss Edwy had Dunstan fleemed to Frankric. Edwy died when he was only twenty, þe umbstandings of his deaþ were not written dune.

Edgar þe Friþful 959 – 975

Edgar was þe broþer of Edwy, and had been at odds wiþ his broþer ofer þe þrone for sum years. Following Edwy's weird deaþ, Edgar called Dunstan back right away from fleemdom, making him Alderbiscop of Canterbery as well as his personal redesman. Following his þroning in 973, Edgar weyed his here to Chester to be met by six kings of Britain. Þe kings, yinning þe King of þe Skots, þe King of Strackelledwales, and sundry aþelings of Norwales, are said to haf scowed þeir trow to Edgar by rowing him in his ferry dune þe ea called Dee.

Edward I þe Þroer 975 – 978

Edward was þe sun of Edgar, and was þroned at twelfe years old. Alþough staddelled by Alderbiscop Dunstan, his call to þe þrone was gainstood by followers of his muc younger halfbroþer Aþelred. Þe following flite between þe two sides wiþin þe circ and between almost led to infighting in England. Edward's scort time on þe þrone ended when he was murþered by followers of Aþelred.

Aþelred þe Unredey 978 – 1016

Aþelred was þe halfbroþer of Edward. He could not stand against þe Dens, earning him his ekename. He became king umb ten years old, but fled to Normandy in 1013 when Sweyn Forkbeard, King of þe Dens, stormed England. Sweyn was boded King of England but died only fife weeks later. Aþelred eftcame in 1014 after Sweyn's deaþ and took back his þrone. Þe rest of Aþelred's time on þe þrone was one of an unending war wiþ Sweyn's sun Cnut.

Edmund II Ironside 1016 – 1016

Þe sun of Aþelred þe Unredey, Edmund had led þe fight against Cnut and his storming of England sinse 1015. Following þe deaþ of his faþer he was made king by þe folk of London. Þe Wittenmoot, huefer, ceose Cnut. Following his loss at þe Guþe of Assandun, Edmund made a deal wiþ Cnut to split England between þem. Edmund died later þat year, maybe from murþer.

Cnut (Huse Denmark) 1016 – 1035

Cnut became king of all England following þe deaþ of Edmund II. Þe sun of Sweyn Forkbeard, he lead well and gained þe blessing of his Englisc underlings by sending most of his here back to Denmark. In 1017, Cnut wed Emma of Normandy, þe widow of Aþelred II, and sundered England into þe four earldoms of East Engels, Merkland, Norþumberland, and Wessex. He went to Room in 1027. Tales haf it þat he onse went to þe sea and bade þe tide not to cum in so þat his underlings could see his might was not beyond þat of a man, þough later edtellings twist þe tale to instead haf Cnut being lonk and trewly þinking þe tide would listen to him.

Harold I Harefoot (Huse Denmark) 1035 – 1040

Harold was þe misbegotten sun of Cnut. He took þe Englisc þrone upon þe deaþ of his faþer while his older halfbroþer Harþacnut, þe ritfeul erfnimmer, was back home sceelding Denmark from foes. Harold died þree years into his time on þe þrone, only weeks before Harþacnut was set to head to England and nim back þe þrone. Harþacanute had his broþer's body dug up, beheaded, and þrown into þe Tems. His bits were later gaþered and edberied in London.

Harþacnut (Huse Denmark) 1040 – 1042

Harþacnut was fanged right away as king. Maybe at þe behest of his moþer, he welcummed his Englisc halfbroþer Edward, sun of Aþelred þe Unredey, back from freemdom in Normandy. Only abute a year later, Harþacnut died at a wedding while toasting to þe healþ of þe bride. He was only four-and-twenty.

Edward II þe Andetter 1042 – 1066

Edward was þe broþer of Edmund Ironside, and halfbroþer to Harþacnut. He brought back þe Huse of Wessex to þe Englisc þrone. A deeply troþful man, he ofersaw þe edbilding of Westminster Abbey, leafing muc of þe running of þe land to his earl Godwin and his sun Harold Godwinsun. Edward died cildless, and wiþ no erfnimmer.

Harold II Godwinsun 1066

Alþough not from þe huse of Wessex himself, Harold Godwinsun was ceosen king by þe Wittenmoot. Huefer, William þe Misbegotten, þe Earl of Normandy, put forþ þat Edward had made William his erfnimmer sum years earlier. While Harold was busy felling a Norwayisc here at þe Guþe of Stamford Bridge up norþ, William stormed suþern England. Harold swiftly brought his men dune wiþute time for rest, and þe two sides met at þe Guþe of Hastings, where Harold was felled.

Edgar II Aþeling 1066

Edgar was born in Hungary to Edward þe Fleem, þe sun of king Edmund Ironside who had been kicked ute of England by Cnut. Edgar's faþer had eftcum to England on þe behest of Edward þe Andetter, but Edward died scortly þereafter. Alþough named king by þe Wittenmoot, Edgar could not stand up to William's here, and so he stood dune from þe þrone. Edgar sought to take back his þrone not long after, but fund he still could not. For þe rest of his life he went hiþer and þiþer, sumtimes at odds wiþ þe Normans, sumtimes beside þem, and often putting his mark on þe great happenings of þe day.

Huse Normandy
William I 1066 - 1087

William II Rufus 1087 - 1100

Henry I 1100 - 1135

Matilda (Huse Normandy) & Stephen (Huse Blois) 1135 - 1154

Matila was þe daughter of Henry I. Alþough sce was her faþer's ceosen erfnimmer, many þanes sided wiþ Steffen of Blois. Þe followers of Matilda and Steffen fought eac oþer until a deal was struck wherein Steffen would be fanged as king, but Matilda's sun would be his erfnimmer. þiss was made cummendly by Steffen's sun dying of a sickness.

Huse Anjou
Henry II Curtmantel

Henry was þe sun of Matilda. He sought to put þe circ in England under his weeld by making his freend Thomas Becket þe Alderbiscop of Canterbery, but Becket ended up siding wiþ þe circ. Becket was killed, maybe on þe king's bidding.

Richard I þe Lionheart

Richard spent littel time in England, lifing instead in Acwitain. He þeeded himself to þe Þird Crusade, and on þe way back was fanged by Henry VI, þe Holy Roomisc Coaser who did not like Richard. After Richard's followers back home gafe yiselyeeld to Henry, Richard was leesed. Richard fought a wye against Fillip of Frankric, and later died.

John Lackland

John was þe broþer of Richard. He fant to take þe þrone from Richard when Richard was on a crusade, but he trucked. He later erfnome þe þrone anyway. While he was king þe Englisc-Frenc Wye of 1202–1214 broke ute, and John lost muc of his huse's holdings in Frankland to Fillip II. John later got into a fight wiþ þe Pope ofer who scould be þe Alderbiscop of Canterbery, so þe Pope mansed him, but þe bickering was settelled and John was numb back into þe circ. John fant to fight Frankric again in 1214, but þe fight was cwickly forsaken. When he went back to England his þanes rose up and made John to be þwere wiþ þe Articels of þe Barons, and later þe Magna Carta. John did not heed þe Magna Carta, so þe First Þanes' Wye broke ute. A Frenc aþeling stormed England on behalf of þe Englisc þanes, and John died. John was þe first king of England sinse 1066 to know hue to speak Englisc.

King Louis (Huse Capet)

Plantagenet Branch of Anjou
Henry III

Simon (Huse Montfort)

Edward III Longscanks (known widely as Edward I)

Edward IV (known widely as Edward II)

Edward V (known widely as Edward III)

Richard II

Henry IV of Lancaster

Henry V of Lancaster

Henry VI of Lancaster

Edward VI of York (known widely as Edward IV)

Henry VI of Lancaster

Edward VII of York (known widely as Edward V)

Richard III of York

Huse Tudor
Henry VII

Henry VIII

Edward VIII (known widely as Edward VI)

Jane (Huse Grey)

Mary I & Fillip

Elizabeth I