The Three Sillies

Foreword
This is an Anglish of the folk tale, The Three Sillies (or, The Three Noodles), first written by Charlotte S. Burne for Folk-Lore (vol. ii. p. 40.), and later gathered together in English Fairy Tales by Joseph Jacobs, and English Fairy and Other Folk Tales by Edwin Sidney Hartland. by Wordwork. See the wender's leaf for more on the wordings.

English Spelling
Once upon a time there was a and his wife who had one daughter, and she was  by a. Every evening he come and see her, and stop to  at the, and the daughter  be sent down into the  to draw the beer for. So, one evening she had gone down to draw the beer, and she to look up at the  while she was drawing, and she saw a  stuck in one of the beams. It must have been there a long, long time, but somehow or other she had never it before, and she began a-thinking. And she thought it was  to have that  there, for she said to herself: ' him and me was to be, and we was to have a son, and he was to grow up to be a man, and come down into the to draw the beer,  as I'm doing now, and the  was to fall on his head and kill him, what a dreadful thing it would be!' And she put down the candle and the , and sat herself down and began a-.

Well, began to wonder  how it was that she was so long drawing the beer, and her mother went down to see after her, and she found her sitting on the settle, and the beer running over the floor. 'Why, whatever is the ?' said her mother. 'Oh, mother!' says she, 'look at that ! we was to be, and was to have a son, and he was to grow up, and was to come down to the to draw the beer, and the  was to fall on his head and kill him, what a dreadful thing it would be!' 'Dear, dear! what a dreadful thing it would be!' said the mother, and she sat down aside of the daughter and started a- too. Then after a bit the father began to wonder that didn't come back, and he went down into the  to look after  himself, and there  two sat a-, and the beer running all over the floor. 'Whatever is the ?' says he. 'Why,' says the mother, 'look at that. , if our daughter and her sweetheart was to be, and was to have a son, and he was to grow up, and was to come down into the to draw the beer, and the  was to fall on his head and kill him, what a dreadful thing it would be!' 'Dear, dear, dear! So it would!' said the father, and he sat himself down aside of the other two, and started a-.

Now the  tired of stopping up in the kitchen by himself, and at last he went down into the, too, to see what  were after; and there  three sat a- side by side, and the beer running all over the floor. And he ran straight and the tap. Then he said: 'Whatever you three doing, sitting there, and letting the beer run all over the floor?' 'Oh!' says the father, 'look at that ! you and our daughter was to be, and was to have a son, and he was to grow up, and was to come down into the to draw the beer, and the  was to fall on his head and kill him!' And then  all started a- worse than before. But the burst out a-laughing, and reached up and pulled out the, and then he said: 'I've many miles, and I never met three such  sillies as you three before; and now I shall start out on my , and when I can find three  sillies than you three, then I'll come back and  your daughter.' So he wished  goodbye, and started off on his , and left  all   the girl had lost her sweetheart.

Well, he set out, and he a long way, and at last he came to a woman's  that had some grass growing on the roof. And the woman was to  her cow to go up a ladder to the grass, and the  thing durst not go. So the asked the woman what she was doing. 'Why, lookye,' she said, 'look at all that grass. I'm going to the cow on to the roof to eat it. She'll be, for I shall tie a string  her neck, and  it down the , and tie it to my wrist as I go about the house, so she can't fall off without my knowing it.' 'Oh, you silly!' said the, 'you should cut the grass and throw it down to the cow!' But the woman thought it was  to  the cow up the ladder than to  the grass down, so she  her and  her and  her up, and tied a string  her neck, and  it down the , and fastened it to her own wrist. And the went on his way, but he hadn't gone far when the cow tumbled off the roof, and hung by the string tied  her neck, and it strangled her. And the weight of the cow tied to her wrist pulled the woman up the, and she stuck fast half-way and was smothered in the soot.

Well, that was one silly.

And the went on and on, and he went to an inn to stop the night, and  were so full at the inn that  had to put him in a -bedded room, and another  was to sleep in the other bed. The other man was a  fellow, and    friendly together; but in the morning, when  were both  up, the  was  to see the other hang his  on the knobs of the chest of drawers and run  the room and  to jump into, and he  over and  and couldn't  it; and the  wondered whatever he was doing it for. At last he stopped and wiped his with his. 'Oh dear,' he says, 'I do think  the most  kind of clothes that ever were. I can't think who could have such things. It me the best part of  to  into mine every morning, and I  so hot! How do you yours?' So the  burst out a-laughing, and showed him how to put  on; and he was   to him, and said he never should have thought of doing it that way.

So that was another silly.

Then the went on his  ; and he came to a, and outside the  there was a pond, and  the pond was a crowd of. And had rakes, and brooms, and pitchforks reaching into the pond; and the  asked what was the.

'Why,' say, ' enough! Moon's tumbled into the pond, and we can't rake her out anyhow!' So the burst out a-laughing, and told  to look up into the, and that it was only the shadow in the water. But wouldn't listen to him, and  him shamefully, and he  away as quick as he could.

So there was a whole lot of sillies than  three sillies at home. So the  back home and  the 's daughter, and if  didn't live  for ever after, that's nothing to do with you or me.

Anglish Spelling
Ones upon a time there was a and his wife hwo had one daugter, and sce was  by a. Efery efening he cum and see her, and stop to  at the, and the daugter  be sent dune into the  to draw the beer for. So, one efening sce had gone dune to draw the beer, and sce to look up at the  hwile sce was drawing, and sce saw a  stuck in one of the beams. It must hafe been there a long, long time, but sumhu or other sce had nefer it before, and sce began a-thinking. And sce thaugt it was  to hafe that  there, for sce said to herself: ' him and me was to be, and we was to hafe a sun, and he was to grow up to be a man, and cum dune into the to draw the beer,  as I'm doing nu, and the  was to fall on his head and kill him, hwat a dreadful thing it would be!' And sce put dune the candel and the , and sat herself dune and began a-.